TransWorld Snowboarder Magazine 1995
CHIP HAPPENS
By Rodney Wallace
You’ve been there. The hill is pure ice, it’s like boarding down a cobble stone street on Beacon Hill, but it’s still ride time and beats working. Then it happens. Edge grabs- face down- stars. You come to, and look down to see your most loved inanimate object chipped (see photo one).
Chip happens.
Because your board experiences the worst possible conditions that a multi-layered wood byproduct can endure (moisture, extreme temperature changes and repeated flexing), that little chip could lead to separation, flaking and general poor looks.
Before committing yourself to the bottle and years of controlled substance abuse, you should know that repairs are cake. If the chip isn’t one of those rare occasions that looks like the grand canyon, but just took off the color coat, base coat and small fragments of the board surface, you be cool (we’ll talk some other time about those huge crevasses that require epoxy fillers or design consultants to turn it into a game room). All you need to do is gather the required goods on “THE LIST” (see photo two) and follow the instructions located somewhere in the general area of this page.
THE LIST
· CD of The Ass Ponys
· Your portable shrine to Victoria Jealouse
· One bottle of Loreal Mega Hard base coat with Kevlar
· One bottle of colored nail polish (your boards color)
· One bottle Loreal Creme clear coat.
· One bottle finger nail polish remover
Here’s the 411 on the materials and a tip for men, on procuring said items.
TIP FOR MEN:
Purchase the materials on the sly. Trust me on this one. In order to research this little process, I bought a wide variety of products from every possible manufacturer. Trying to explain to a bunch of guys, why you just spent $72.89(US) on finger nail polish, is not something I want to live through again. To this day, I know it’s still in the back of their minds. For my birthday, Maniacal Mike got me “accessories” that he said “would match perfectly with my boots, and still highlight the color of my eyes”.
Sick Bastard.
To test these materials, I took three by five cards and labeled each with the name of what product was on it. I then put three dots on each, to see how each would act at different thickness’. First dot was one coat, second was two coats and the third was, of course, three coats thick. These cards were then twisted, bent, curled and generally abused in ways that I’m ashamed to mention in print. This eliminated every single product that was dug out of those, 8 bottles for a buck, bins at drug stores. They cracked under the pressure, so to speak.
I placed the survivors into my freezer. (Since I do this kind of stuff way to often, I wore my welcome out at the NASA center in Houston and the Bellcore Labs in Jersey. Hence, the primitive experimenting techniques.) This really brought the cream to the top. Cards that didn’t peel or start flaking, got twisted, bent, curled and generally abused in ways that I’m ashamed to mention in print.
Here is my take on the whole gig.
For the top coats, use a creme type clear polish. Shy away from things that “make nails tougher”. They are to hard, and become brittle in the cold. The color coats are relatively safe. However, as mentioned earlier, this stuff isn’t that expensive, so don’t try to save a couple of pennies on your big buck board. As for the base coat, I stand pretty fast on this one. Kevlar. Nuff said.
This in no way is a product endorsement. You now have the testing method. If you find something with the same types of polymers (colors or main ingredient), carriers (what makes it a liquid till used, usually a lacquer or enamel) and hardeners (agent that aids in or accelerates the drying process) in them, test them before putting it on your board.
Suggestion: If ever in your life, you find yourself with a freezer full of three by five cards that have colored dots on them, tell your friends what’s going down. I walked into my living room to find Crazy Amy, chewing on the blue Revlon sample card, looking for my Hendrix Cds.
Lets get started.
To start, simply open up your portable Victoria Jealouse shrine, light the candles and do the two hour ceremonial chant of unconditional love (You don’t need the portable shrine if you work on your board in the room dedicated to your majestic permanent fixture of Victoria worship, but hey, every little bit helps).
Put on the Ass Ponys and place the volume on or about 11.
Take a hair dryer to the chipped area to ensure that all moisture is out of the board. You want to do this at low heat as not to over heat the laminating materials but still make the grain thirsty enough to absorb the ground coat. Once the area is dry and warm, dip a cotton swab into the polish remover and lightly brush on to the edges of the finished surfaces. This serves to clean it and temporarily breaks down the surface to aid in bonding with the ground coat. As soon as the polish remover “flashes off” ( it will go from a shiny wet look to a flat, matte look) apply a light coat of the base coat with kevlar, forcing the liquid into the grain with a toothpick or artificial nail (see photo three). Guys, shake the bottle gently, just like the label says. Do not use the same technique you use to relieve frustration, or you will load the stuff up with air bubbles. Let the first coat set for about three to five minutes and apply a second coat by just brushing it over the first coat. LIGHT COATS. You may save time by putting just one coat on heavy, but thick will crack when cold and flexed.
Apply two or three light coats of your color the same way as the second layer of base coat. If you want to custom mix colors for an exact match, stay with the same manufacturer, to ensure chemical continuity. Allow two to four minutes between coats to let the color set. If your board has a trim layer of exposed base (that little white line under the color coat of the board) and you want to try and duplicate it, simply take your pocket knife and quickly swipe the edge after each coat (see photo four).
The two or three top coats of clear should overlap your color coat just a little bit and touch the color surface of your board to seal off the color (see photo five). Let dry for two hours and you are so done and ready to repeatedly follow the grooves Victoria etched into the mountain the last time she graced your slope. Cutting deep, without fear, knowing that if you fall, you’ll be eating the snow that she......But I digress.
Till next time.
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